Professor Lincoln Hecht
Born: <date>2038</date>, Baldricks Star Died: <date>Triskadecember 1981</date>, Marlinspike, "nitrogen poisoning"
The first discoverer of an accelerative discontinuity, it is sad that noted physicist Hecht is most remembered for the bizarre statement "nitrogen poisoning" on his death certificate (now preserved in the Marlinspike Museum of Memories). It is not known what Hecht actually died of.